[about the author]
i actually like speaking in front of large crowds. freakish,
i work crossword puzzles in ink.
i am the american nigella lawson. or maybe the american eddie
izzard. can't decide, really.
i would be a really good mom, but i'm cool with being a really
i am sometimes more perceptive than i would like to be.
i am fiercely loyal. sometimes, stupidly so.
i never play dumb. never.
i am way too hard on myself.
i am a change agent.
i sometimes cross that fine line between assertive and aggressive.
i am not afraid to tell people that i love them.
i am militantly pro-choice.
i am pro-adoption.
i know a little bit about alot of things.
i typically enjoy the company of men more than women.
i am capable of being really mean and nasty, but i fight it.
i am a lifelong cubs fan. do not laugh.
i have been known to hold a grudge.
i have hips.
i am not my sister.
i am lousy at forgiving myself.
i am an indoor kind of gal.
i am a bargain shopper. to the point of obsession.
i am 32 flavors. and then some.
no, seriously...blog me with a wet noodle
man, i've got to get better about this whole blog thing.
or do i?
my blog is not a daily column in a widely-circulated newspaper. hell, at this rate, my blog is not even a weekly column in a free "alternative" publication. so, what is my blog and what is my obligation to it?
my blog is my refuge; i shall not want.
ha. a little lapsed-catholic humor there. but just as a diversion, really.
see, i think i don't want to talk about my blog.
i'm "supposed" to come here and spill it. or wax poetic. or make insightful commentary on the world around me. or indulge in some sort of written-word-primal-scream therapy. or relate amusing anecdotes involving the quirky cast of my life. i'm feeling some (self-induced, i'm sure, because that's who i am) sort of pressure to:
1. make it daily (at least)
2. make it entertaining/insightful/depthful(ha)/something
when, truth be told, today i just want to talk about the fact that i'm cramping like a mutha, and i'd kill for some dreamery banana split ice cream. and some lindt truffles, but really just the milk chocolate ones, because the dark chocolate ones are a little too. and some snyder's potato chips -- that's snyder's of berlin, not snyder's of hanover for god's sake.
[sound of crickets in the distance]
see? this is what i'm saying.
also, i'm broke. flat-busted broke. because i'm trying to fill up some empty hole inside of me with retail therapy. i got some nice new eyeshadows, though. i mean, how can you not buy eyeshadows named holly golightly and barefoot contessa?! and, uh, some more lipglosses. ahem.
oh, and three new pencil skirts, 'cause that's the look i'm trying to work for fall. although with hips like these, you gotta wonder if the pencil skirt look is really gonna be a thumbs-up moment. sort of a tailored bombshell thing, perhaps? well, that's probably a bit optimistic, but i think you (?) probably know what i mean. i even got some fishnets to wear with the oh-so tailored pencil skirt, the very proper pumps and the crisply ironed shirt. not the hooker kind of fishnets with the small criss-crosses, the couture hooker ones, with the really widely spaced criss-crosses. black ones and nude ones!
anyway, i'm hoping that it all helps to lift my spirits a bit. things at home are rough right now, and i don't have a really strong circle of friends in this neck of the woods to lean on. makes it tough. so, you know, when the going gets tough, i go shopping. to within an nth of my zero balance, evidently. hey, at least i don't do credit cards.
oh, yeah, and i really really really need a haircut and a retouch on my hair color. and that's a big fat cha-ching, ladies and gentlemen. why, oh why, oh why did i ever step foot on the path to hair color touch-ups?? *sigh* anyway, i'm also in the age-old quandry of how to gracefully switch hair stylists. see, i had one hair stylist who did a nice job. then, because she costs way more than i wanted to pay, i switched to stylist number two, at a totally different salon. no problem. then, stylist #2 started doing things i didn't love, and i especially didn't like the color i was getting. so, i decided to go back to stylist #1. which was fine. actually, it was really good. but then: trouble. stylist #1 was unavailable, and i had to get my haircut to go to a wedding. so, i took an appointment with another stylist. and, holy guacamole -- it was a match made in heaven. my hair never looked so yes. but, now what? see, stylists 1 & 3 are in the same salon. only two stations from each other. how am i supposed to manage that?! oh, sweet jose eber, help me!
i think i'd like to write more, but i don't know what it would be, so i'm stopping for now. and, although i'm not pressuring myself (ha), i do plan to write more tomorrow.
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