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[about the author]

i actually like speaking in front of large crowds. freakish, eh?

i work crossword puzzles in ink.

i am the american nigella lawson. or maybe the american eddie izzard. can't decide, really.

i would be a really good mom, but i'm cool with being a really good aunt.

i am sometimes more perceptive than i would like to be.

i am fiercely loyal. sometimes, stupidly so.

i never play dumb. never.

i am way too hard on myself.

i am a change agent.

i sometimes cross that fine line between assertive and aggressive.

i am not afraid to tell people that i love them.

i am militantly pro-choice.

i am pro-adoption.

i know a little bit about alot of things.

i typically enjoy the company of men more than women.

i am capable of being really mean and nasty, but i fight it. hard.

i am a lifelong cubs fan. do not laugh.

i have been known to hold a grudge.

i have hips.

i am not my sister.

i am lousy at forgiving myself.

i am an indoor kind of gal.

i am a bargain shopper. to the point of obsession.

i am 32 flavors. and then some.

 
[the ones people ask about]
[two girls, a sharpie and a bathroom wall]
[why i don't read horoscopes - pt. i]
[revenge is a dish best served piping hot...with corn muffins]
[the things you remember]
[boy meets girl: a requiem]
[the mojo is strong in this one]
[a thousand words for love]
[what's so funny 'bout pax, love and understanding?]
[this is how we say good-bye]
[adventures in 8 minute dating]
[and still more adventures in 8 minute dating]
[a tale of two bad asses]
[on a day like today]
[at least it's not o-town]
[baa baa black sheep]
[i hate it when that happens]
[scenes from a kitchen table. where a lot of alcohol was being consumed]
[i don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation]
[getting out]
[i bet bob vila never would have thought of that]
[nothing changes]
[forsythia]
[an offer i couldn't refuse]
[is that a bottle of molton brown soap in your purse? pt i]
[is that a bottle of molton brown soap in your purse? pt ii]
[i bet jesus would offer to buy me a drink]
[no bad dogs. only bad owners.]
[not even a full body shot to the head would deter him]
[you kiss your grandchildren with that mouth?]
[landing]
[with this ring, i me wed]
[for toni]
[god help you if you are a phoenix]
[open mouth. insert leg. repeat.]
[v.2.0]
[not enough words]
[bittersweet]
[conversations with dmv employees]
[alas,poor norm]
[the letter v. the spirit]
[sinkside soliloquy]
[lester]
[full of grace]
[going, going, gone]
[ikea for the workplace]
[happy ending]

 

[in case you were wondering]

[the blogger behind the curtain]

[100 things about me]



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[all content copyright 2007 by tequila mockingbird. seriously.]


 
10.23.2002  

100 things about me
1. i am a dog person.
2. i kick ass at Scrabble.
3. i watch inside the actors studio. i don’t know why.
4. i’m a much better interior designer than hilde on trading spaces.
5. i got married when i was 20.
6. i got divorced when i was 23.
7. some days i totally forget i was ever married at all.
8. i fucking hate liars.
9. i was double-promoted...
10. ...twice.
11. i dropped out of college halfway through my senior year, and never went back.
12. #11 really embarrasses me.
13. since the age of five, people have told me i’m intimidating.
14. yeah, i own some porn.
15. i’m really good at a lot of things, but i’m scared i’m not great at anything.
16. i’m a textbook scorpio.
17. i don’t really like ice cream very much.
18. i don’t like beer at all.
19. i’m incredibly unphotogenic.
20. i can touch my nose with my tongue.
21. butter, yes. margarine, no.
22. if i had to choose between cake or death, i’d choose cake.
23. nothing pisses me off more than a closed mind.
24. i love to ride roller coasters.
25. i dig disco music.
26. simon was my favorite member of duran duran.
27. i grew up on the “wrong” side of the river.
28. i love to make out.
29. i don’t look like anyone famous.
30. i will watch any baseball or college football game.
31. i’m beginning to suspect that i do have a biological clock after all.
32. i lost everything i owned, including my dog, when my house burned down.
33. i miss my grandparents every single day.
34. i rock at putt-putt.
35. i really like the smell of bleach.
36. i think blue m&ms are just wrong.
37. i drive a big 'ol SUV. and i like it.
38. i’m a magazine junkie.
39. i’m a compulsive list maker.
40. i don’t like citrus fruit.
41. i love potatoes…mashed, baked, french fried, you name it.
42. i always know whodunit.
43. fall is my favorite season.
44. it gives me no pleasure at all to state the following: in the infidelity equation, i have been the cheater, the cheatee, and the cheated on.
45. most days, i would trade five years of my life to be a size 6.
46. i wish i was fluent in french.
47. and italian.
48. i hate it when people tell me what to do.
49. i enjoy ironing. especially ironing shirts. with spray starch.
50. s'mores? oh, hell yeah!
51. i only use white sheets and white towels.
52. my feet are always cold.
53. i prefer email to the telephone.
54. what i don't get is why lyle lovett married julia roberts.
55. i work crossword puzzles in ink.
56. i wish i could remember to shave my legs.
57. i have hips.
58. i am not my sister.
59. i am a good listener.
60. i hold grudges. i try really hard not to, but sometimes i just can't help myself.
61. i actually like speaking in front of large crowds.
62. i am the american nigella lawson.
63. i would be a really good mom, but right now i'm cool with being a really good aunt.
64. i am sometimes more perceptive than i would like to be.
65. i am fiercely loyal. sometimes, stupidly so.
66. i never play dumb. never.
67. i am way too hard on myself.
68. i am a change agent.
69. i sometimes cross that fine line between assertive and aggressive.
70. i am not afraid to tell people that i love them.
71. i am militantly pro-choice.
72. i am pro-adoption.
73. i know a little bit about alot of things.
74. i'm a bundle of contradictions. covered in secret sauce.
75. i typically enjoy the company of men more than women.
76. i am capable of being really mean and nasty, but i fight it, really hard.
77. i am a lifelong cubs fan. do not laugh.
78. i am lousy at forgiving myself.
79. i am an indoor kind of gal.
80. i’m named after two men – my godfather, and my great-grandfather.
81. i am a bargain shopper. to the point of obsession.
82. i own more than 100 lipsticks and lip glosses. it's a sickness.
83. i set high standards for myself in all areas of my life, and I often expect others to do the same...without ever telling them.
84. i’ve never read war and peace.
85. i know flash!
86. i love my mom more than anything in the whole world.
87. i am fascinated by serial killers.
88. i just realized that i don’t each much red meat. but, when i do eat it, i like it rare. e coli be damned.
89. i’ve discovered that it is virtually impossible for me to physically relax.
90. i love movies. especially the philadelphia story. and pretty much anything by the coen brothers. and...oh, hell, i just love movies.
91. i have a sinking feeling that i’m going to die relatively young, but i don’t let it interfere with my day-to-day life.
92. i worry that i'm "supposed" to be doing something great...like world-changing great. but i have no idea what it is.
93. i know she wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but i was my gran’s favorite.
94. i try and do the right thing. all the time. and it’s hard.
95. i fucking hate it when you think someone is your friend and it turns out that they’re actually a sociopath.
96. i learned the word “fuck” from my mom. much to her dismay.
97. some days i’m scared to death…but i think i hide it well.
98. i’ve never been anywhere i loved more than st. barth.
99. i am a property owner.
100. i am 32 flavors. and then some.
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