[about the author]
i actually like speaking in front of large crowds. freakish,
i work crossword puzzles in ink.
i am the american nigella lawson. or maybe the american eddie
izzard. can't decide, really.
i would be a really good mom, but i'm cool with being a really
i am sometimes more perceptive than i would like to be.
i am fiercely loyal. sometimes, stupidly so.
i never play dumb. never.
i am way too hard on myself.
i am a change agent.
i sometimes cross that fine line between assertive and aggressive.
i am not afraid to tell people that i love them.
i am militantly pro-choice.
i am pro-adoption.
i know a little bit about alot of things.
i typically enjoy the company of men more than women.
i am capable of being really mean and nasty, but i fight it.
i am a lifelong cubs fan. do not laugh.
i have been known to hold a grudge.
i have hips.
i am not my sister.
i am lousy at forgiving myself.
i am an indoor kind of gal.
i am a bargain shopper. to the point of obsession.
i am 32 flavors. and then some.
a jolly good psa
not much time today. still puzzling over push. come 9:00 tonight, it's all over but the crying...and the crying will still be going on for days after. mostly because i can't block out the image of ben affleck in an orange codpiece. that'll keep you up nights. so, you know, thanks for that.
so, today will just be a little public service announcement. this is for all of us who know someone from, say, paramus who insists on saying things like, "ring me up" when they want you to call them. or telling you that they just got back from "holiday." whatever. you're not hugh grant, you tool. hell, you're not even grant goodeve. let it go.
things you really shouldn't say unless you are british
bloody [ed. note: look, i like this one alot, too...but, seriously...it just sounds wrong without the british accent. sorry.]
i say, old chap
guv (or guv'nor)
mate (instead of friend...really, not instead of husband or wife, either, now that i think about it)
chips (when you mean fries)
crisps (when you mean chips)
biscuits (when you damn well mean cookies. but it's okay when you really do mean biscuits)
things you can probably get away with every once in a while, but you don't want to make a habit of
cake hole [ed. note: this, of course is the anglo version of the american "pie hole;" as in "shut your clanging cake/pie hole."]
bum [ed. note: proceed with extreme caution here]
feel free to chime in...i'm sure i've missed some.
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