[about the author]
i actually like speaking in front of large crowds. freakish,
i work crossword puzzles in ink.
i am the american nigella lawson. or maybe the american eddie
izzard. can't decide, really.
i would be a really good mom, but i'm cool with being a really
i am sometimes more perceptive than i would like to be.
i am fiercely loyal. sometimes, stupidly so.
i never play dumb. never.
i am way too hard on myself.
i am a change agent.
i sometimes cross that fine line between assertive and aggressive.
i am not afraid to tell people that i love them.
i am militantly pro-choice.
i am pro-adoption.
i know a little bit about alot of things.
i typically enjoy the company of men more than women.
i am capable of being really mean and nasty, but i fight it.
i am a lifelong cubs fan. do not laugh.
i have been known to hold a grudge.
i have hips.
i am not my sister.
i am lousy at forgiving myself.
i am an indoor kind of gal.
i am a bargain shopper. to the point of obsession.
i am 32 flavors. and then some.
top ten reasons i didn't blog yesterday
10. i didn’t have the necessary permit.
9. i was waiting for godot and lost track of time.
8. i ran out of total and spent my entire day eating 12 bowls of wheaties.
7. i felt that, if i had blogged yesterday, the terrorists would have won.
6. no hablo blog.
5. i thought i had a bye.
4. i actually did blog…but i typed it in invisible ink.
3. the sun was in my eyes.
2. jesus left a message on my machine telling me not to blog.
[oh yeah, smart ass, well if it wasn’t jesus, who was it then?]
1. performance anxiety…i fear i may have jumped the shark with “slammerkin.”
come to think of it, there's been much discussion recently that the phrase “jump the shark” may have actually jumped the shark. damn, where's alanis morissette when you need her?
so, i'm trying to come up with a new catchphrase that might sweep across the country. or at least sweep across my apartment. or at least sweep the kitchen in my apartment.
right now i'm considering building the catchphrase around one of two classic "jump the shark" moments. the first is the painful if-we-don't-mention-it-maybe-no one-will-notice-dick york/dick sargent switch. the second is that dark day when shelley hack graced charlie’s door.
but, as always, the floor is open to your suggestions....
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