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[about the author]

i actually like speaking in front of large crowds. freakish, eh?

i work crossword puzzles in ink.

i am the american nigella lawson. or maybe the american eddie izzard. can't decide, really.

i would be a really good mom, but i'm cool with being a really good aunt.

i am sometimes more perceptive than i would like to be.

i am fiercely loyal. sometimes, stupidly so.

i never play dumb. never.

i am way too hard on myself.

i am a change agent.

i sometimes cross that fine line between assertive and aggressive.

i am not afraid to tell people that i love them.

i am militantly pro-choice.

i am pro-adoption.

i know a little bit about alot of things.

i typically enjoy the company of men more than women.

i am capable of being really mean and nasty, but i fight it. hard.

i am a lifelong cubs fan. do not laugh.

i have been known to hold a grudge.

i have hips.

i am not my sister.

i am lousy at forgiving myself.

i am an indoor kind of gal.

i am a bargain shopper. to the point of obsession.

i am 32 flavors. and then some.

 
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[all content copyright 2007 by tequila mockingbird. seriously.]


 
11.18.2002  

alas, poor zito
okay, so i’m not a marketing professional. i’m just your average gal, watching television, being subconsciously convinced that tide will really get my clothes that much cleaner than cheer, and that if i eat an uncle ben’s rice bowl some hot guy will find me irresistible.

but i have to admit that this whole harley earl thing that buick has going has me stymied. baffled. flummoxed, even.

is it just me? am i the only one who, at the first sign that one of those buick commercials featuring some dead guy named harley earl is coming on, immediately reaches for the remote?

and, am i the only one who keeps wondering where switek is? i mean, there’s zito, wearing some zoot-suit-looking get-up, complete with spats, telling me he’s come back from the dead to build me a buick…so where’s switek? you can’t have zito without switek. and, while you’re at it, bring back izzy, too. [note to john diehl: female perversions, and amanda and the alien might not have been, uh…good, but is this honestly the best you could do? is your career really as dead as…well, as harley earl? oh yeah, and i'm submitting you for hey, it's that guy!. you can thank me later.]

and who in the hell is harley earl, anyway?!

okay, so i found the answer to that burning question at buick.com. and, after reading their fascinating bio on mr. earl, i have to say: who gives a shit? i mean, other than john diehl, who’s grateful for the job, who gives a shit? so this guy made cars. and, he was tall. and he wore a fedora. woo.

and now your best marketing idea is to take zito and dress him up like some dead guy no one ever heard of and tell me, the potential buick purchaser, that he’s back from the dead, large and in-charge over there at buick? and, that’s supposed to make me want to buy your cars? that your cars kick ass because they’re the idea of some dead guy? that a ghost is running the show at buick?!

i so don’t get this.
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