[about the author]
i actually like speaking in front of large crowds. freakish,
i work crossword puzzles in ink.
i am the american nigella lawson. or maybe the american eddie
izzard. can't decide, really.
i would be a really good mom, but i'm cool with being a really
i am sometimes more perceptive than i would like to be.
i am fiercely loyal. sometimes, stupidly so.
i never play dumb. never.
i am way too hard on myself.
i am a change agent.
i sometimes cross that fine line between assertive and aggressive.
i am not afraid to tell people that i love them.
i am militantly pro-choice.
i am pro-adoption.
i know a little bit about alot of things.
i typically enjoy the company of men more than women.
i am capable of being really mean and nasty, but i fight it.
i am a lifelong cubs fan. do not laugh.
i have been known to hold a grudge.
i have hips.
i am not my sister.
i am lousy at forgiving myself.
i am an indoor kind of gal.
i am a bargain shopper. to the point of obsession.
i am 32 flavors. and then some.
a banner [ad] week
welcome to our first annual weekly recap!
or something like that. i don’t know. anyway...welcome!
it’s been a week of highs and lows here at tequila mockingbird. let’s review:
1. started off the week with a raging stomach virus. we’ll put that in the “low” column.
2. last friday, i decided to move out of my snarky comfort zone and write something that isn’t what i typically post here. it’s not the first non-snarky post i’ve written, but posting this particular story was a little tough for me. it was more personal, maybe, than a lot of other posts, and i was nervous about doing something different. but, the rewards were great, and i’m grateful for the feedback. definitely in the “high” column.
3. this week, a number of blogs i enjoy a great deal were kind enough to link to me directly in a specific post. as a result, my blog saw a week of “personal best” numbers in terms of visits, and, it appears, garnered some new regular visitors. so, much thanks to the following folks for shining a light on my little corner of the blogverse:
the safeword [both j and kerry]
the johnny bacardi show
zanyblog [perhaps my most avid supporter…it has not gone unnoticed. much thanks.]
not my dissertation
this is definitely “high” column stuff. my apologies if i missed anyone...let me know and i'll remedy the oversight post haste.
4. today is a snow day, and, for some reason, a lot of “professionals” think it is a good idea to come to the office dressed in their eddie-bauer-i-don’t-actually-go-outdoors-but-i-paid-a-lot-of-money-for-this-sweater-so-people-will-think-i-do gear, along with some sort of boot. i wish they wouldn’t do this. it looks wrong. these people look uncomfortable and unnatural. in the same vein, i also fell into the “snow day” attire trap today. i put on some sweater that was in my closet that i swear to god i never bought and do not know who put it there. it’s a big navy blue turtleneck sweater [which is really great – i’m a fan of those, as you may recall], but then there’s this giant-ass yellow star on the front of it. i. have. no. idea. where. this. came. from. the tag in the back says “tommy hilfiger” which, in and of itself is disturbing, given that i do not, as a rule, purchase mr. hilfiger’s clothes. what i find more disturbing is that i cannot help but think that mr. hilfiger’s sweater would be more appropriately labeled “from the electric company’s 2002 fall collection.” it’s like i’m wearing this to teach kids about shapes and colors or something. it’s truly disturbing. i feel like i should be walking up to people and saying, “my sweater is brought to you by the letter k and the color yellow.” uh…”low” column, please.
5. in what can only be described as a high and a low, production this week came to a screeching halt on the hotly anticipated gay-bigfoot-travel-martini-glass-holder when the item’s creator, one cw, broke off negotiations with the laotian government. “they wanted me to pay their workers seven cents a day! i said six. not a penny more.” the good news is that this left cw with plenty of free time to start his own blog. i highly recommend you visit.
6. the increased traffic led to an increase in emails as well. a few of the more interesting ones:
-1 email in which the author asserted that he/she allegedly nominated me for a bloggie award
-1 email in which i was decried as pretentious
-1 email in which the author asserted that he/she was submitting me to msnbc's weblog central as a "best of" blog
-1 email which suggested i not quit my day job
-2 emails sending me voodoo curses
so, you know, you gotta say that's a mixed bag in terms of your "highs" and "lows." but i hope i get nominated for “best ingenue” one day. i always wanted to be an ingenue. probably not going to happen though. i’m pretty sure that if you put ramps in your friend’s honeymoon luggage you’re automatically disqualified for any ingenue awards. hey…ingenue is fun to say!
7. and now, for the high that coulda been a low. this week i went all zen and talked a bit about how i try really hard to live my life on the high road. in a blatant display of the universe’s sense of fuck-off humor, the voice of god – or maybe it was just the gannett company – came low and whispered in my ear: “oh yeah? well, high road your way outta this.” those of you who know me in “real” life [how weird is that?] are probably holding your breath, waiting to see which path i will take.
this is a tough one, there is no doubt. but, after much pondering, i have decided that i will, indeed, stay the course. take the high road. i will not pen a scathing blog post containing the words “liar” or “sociopath” or even “repugnant.” i will not write phrases such as “so completely self-absorbed as to be unaware that any other living being exists on this planet for any purpose other than to worship at her altar,” or “outrageous distortion of the truth,” or even “manipulative attention whore.” and i certainly will not be writing anything involving the phrase “fender bender.”
totally not stooping over here. chalk that one up to the oh-so-high column.
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