[about the author]
i actually like speaking in front of large crowds. freakish,
i work crossword puzzles in ink.
i am the american nigella lawson. or maybe the american eddie
izzard. can't decide, really.
i would be a really good mom, but i'm cool with being a really
i am sometimes more perceptive than i would like to be.
i am fiercely loyal. sometimes, stupidly so.
i never play dumb. never.
i am way too hard on myself.
i am a change agent.
i sometimes cross that fine line between assertive and aggressive.
i am not afraid to tell people that i love them.
i am militantly pro-choice.
i am pro-adoption.
i know a little bit about alot of things.
i typically enjoy the company of men more than women.
i am capable of being really mean and nasty, but i fight it.
i am a lifelong cubs fan. do not laugh.
i have been known to hold a grudge.
i have hips.
i am not my sister.
i am lousy at forgiving myself.
i am an indoor kind of gal.
i am a bargain shopper. to the point of obsession.
i am 32 flavors. and then some.
a purely hypothetical scenario
i was hypothesizing about something last night.
suppose that you wrote a little something. just a throwaway, really. a little rant of sorts. and you put it up on your little website that doesn’t really get massive amounts of traffic or anything.
suppose that, in that little bit of somethingness, you happened to mention
gary kroeger a certain person. maybe in a way that is sort of…well…snarky.
i was just imagining what might happen if
gary kroeger that person found your little teeny-tiny-itty-bitty corner of the internet one day. just stumbled upon it, really. and just happened to read through all your old stuff. ‘cause, hypothetically speaking, gary kroeger he stumbled on to your site months after you’d written that little something that just so happened to mention him in a snarky way.
i mean, do you think
gary kroeger that person would be cool enough to send you an email? not like a "kiss my ass" email. but, a cool email. maybe even an email saying, “hey, i just thought i’d let you know that i really enjoy your writing, and i think you're really funny…even though you took a swipe at me.”
i bet that, if that happened, you probably wouldn’t believe the email was really from
gary kroeger that person. i mean, come on…what are the chances?
i bet you might even send him a response saying, “thanks, but i gotta tell ya that i’m not entirely sure that you’re the real
gary kroeger person you say you are…i mean, come on…it’s the internet. it’s pretty easy to pretend you’re someone you’re not.” seriously. i mean, just take a look at match.com and read any profile without a picture. now go meet that person. it's pretty damn easy to pretend to be someone you’re not. am i right or am i right?
i’d even go so far as to speculate that you might even send an email to a good friend and say, “hey,
cory good friend, did you send me an email pretending to be gary kroeger this other person? trying to yank my chain a little maybe?” and your friend would say, “no…but, strangely enough, he’s from the same town i’m from. what are the chances?”
i bet --- again, completely hypothetically speaking -- that
gary kroeger the person might even be so cool as to send you an email in response to your “dude, i’m not buying it” email and explain things even further, and tell you that he wasn’t offended or anything like that.
i bet you’d even be impressed by how cool
gary kroeger that person is.
i bet you’d be redfaced with shame and vow to never be snarky again.
never be snarky again?!
damn. thank god this is all hypothetical.
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