[about the author]
i actually like speaking in front of large crowds. freakish,
i work crossword puzzles in ink.
i am the american nigella lawson. or maybe the american eddie
izzard. can't decide, really.
i would be a really good mom, but i'm cool with being a really
i am sometimes more perceptive than i would like to be.
i am fiercely loyal. sometimes, stupidly so.
i never play dumb. never.
i am way too hard on myself.
i am a change agent.
i sometimes cross that fine line between assertive and aggressive.
i am not afraid to tell people that i love them.
i am militantly pro-choice.
i am pro-adoption.
i know a little bit about alot of things.
i typically enjoy the company of men more than women.
i am capable of being really mean and nasty, but i fight it.
i am a lifelong cubs fan. do not laugh.
i have been known to hold a grudge.
i have hips.
i am not my sister.
i am lousy at forgiving myself.
i am an indoor kind of gal.
i am a bargain shopper. to the point of obsession.
i am 32 flavors. and then some.
it's a movie review in which i can't really tell you anything about the movie. yeah. that's helpful.
there are two types of people sitting in any movie theater:
there are people who are there to get away from it all. relax. not think so much. be entertained.
then there are the people who are going to spend the next 120 minutes trying really hard to figure out the gotcha plot points. they pick up on all the little inside jokes, bloopers and movie homages. mostly, you want to punch them in the mouth when they lean over and say, "so, have you figured it out yet?" with a big grin on their face.
um, i am that person. that second kind of one. although i have never leaned over and said, "so, have you figured it out yet?" to anyone. mostly for fear i'd get punched in the mouth.
i don't mean to be that person, i swear. i'm not actually trying to figure anything out. honestly. it just happens. a friend once described it by saying, "she can't help it that she is incapable of turning off her brain and relaxing, not even for two hours." that's actually sort of true. even though i think they meant it in a crappy way.
but here's what i can't make people understand: it didn't ruin the sixth sense for me one bit that i knew from about 15 minutes in that the guy was dead. for real. i still loved it. thought it was a great, smart, very well-written, very well-acted movie.
so i knew who keyser soze was. big deal. still loved the usual suspects.
got unbreakable. adored it anyway.
that box with the head in it in seven? saw that one coming a mile away. and yet, i absolutely think that is a brilliant movie.
so, let me just be clear: i figure movies out. always.
so, i have no way to know what i should tell you about identity. i don't want to tell you too much, and, even by telling you that there's something to figure out, maybe i told you too much.
so, yes, there is a something to figure out. although, isn't there always in a thriller? i mean, you're always trying to figure out whodunit. the good news for those of you who love that kind of stuff, is that the clues are all there. and, to the writer's credit, i'm almost sure that if i watched it a second time, he didn't even cheat or anything. i'm pretty sure that he played by the rules the whole way through.
1. i thought maybe it was a little too easy to figure out the something.
2. i thought they revealed the something a little too soon.
and, for those of you who just want to be entertained, this isn't a bad way to invest your matinee dollars. it has a little bit of a classic thriller feel to it, actually. a bit agatha christie. a bit and then there were none or, if you prefer, ten little indians...you know...220...221.
the cast isn't bad, and john cusack does his trademarked laconic hang-dog everyman thing. there are a few good one-liners, and some clever twists. and it has john c. mcginley, who i adore and would watch in anything, including a kibbles 'n bits commercial. plus, it has genuinely creepy music, and i'm a sucker for genuinely creepy music. oh, and, it has one of the best person-getting-hit-by-a-car special effects i think i can remember [it's all about the velocity]. for real. nice job on that, special effects guys.
however, you should brace yourself, 'cause you're going to see some cliches.
like rain. a whole lotta rain. because, you know, you can't have a "dark and stormy night" without an assload of rain. yeah, it's actually a dark and stormy night. i mean, does it get any more cliched than a dark and stormy night? even snoopy knew there's nothing more cliche than a dark and stormy night. geesh.
it's so bad that there are even flooded roads so no one can leave. and a creepy motel. and the phones won't work. and there's a burned-out cop who left his job after growing weary of seeing the worst in his fellow man. and a b-movie actress who thinks she's really a-list. and a convicted murderer who's being transported by a shady cop with anger management issues. dude, there's even a hooker with a heart of gold. seriously.
but, here's the thing: once you know the something then...um...oh, crap, i can't really say...anyway, once you know then you know.
yeah, that cleared it right up for ya, eh?
anyway, it's not great. but, i'm usually willing to overlook a lot for a movie that tries to do something different. especially when it's something smart. and, they really did try and do something different and smart.
is it a classic? uh, no.
was i entertained? uh, yes.
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