[about the author]
i actually like speaking in front of large crowds. freakish,
i work crossword puzzles in ink.
i am the american nigella lawson. or maybe the american eddie
izzard. can't decide, really.
i would be a really good mom, but i'm cool with being a really
i am sometimes more perceptive than i would like to be.
i am fiercely loyal. sometimes, stupidly so.
i never play dumb. never.
i am way too hard on myself.
i am a change agent.
i sometimes cross that fine line between assertive and aggressive.
i am not afraid to tell people that i love them.
i am militantly pro-choice.
i am pro-adoption.
i know a little bit about alot of things.
i typically enjoy the company of men more than women.
i am capable of being really mean and nasty, but i fight it.
i am a lifelong cubs fan. do not laugh.
i have been known to hold a grudge.
i have hips.
i am not my sister.
i am lousy at forgiving myself.
i am an indoor kind of gal.
i am a bargain shopper. to the point of obsession.
i am 32 flavors. and then some.
'cause i've been such a blog-slacker...it's not one, but two movie reviews!
i had a busy weekend. well, busy if you think trying to catch up on seeing movies is busy. and it is, my friends...busy and costly.
irritated note: hey, independent film-type people, i have an idea i'd like to share with ya. let's say i'm an early-twenties type. let's say i don't make bazillions of dollars. i have a rather limited expendable income, and a good portion of that is already earmarked for mojitos and low-riders from bebe. let's say that after all of my too-cool-for-school purchases have been made, i decide i'd like to see a movie at 4:00 on a saturday afternoon. i can see some piece of crap like 2 fast 2 furious or [god help me] dumb and dumberer for about $5.75...or i can go see a charmer like spellbound for freaking $9.00. point being this: you want more people to see your indie movies? want bigger audiences? broader audiences? then stop making me pay more to see your damn indie movies. just an idea. throwin' it out there for your consideration.
so, first up: spellbound. i know, the description sounds irresistible, right? not just a documentary, but a documentary about the national spelling bee. you're probably thinking, "oh, yeah...this has to be edge-of-your-seat stuff. fascinating." well, shut up, smarty pants. 'cause guess what: it's awesome. didya like best in show? how about a mighty wind? well, then you're gonna loove this. it's every bit as funny as either of those -- maybe even funnier because it's real people. you'll laugh. you'll cry [well, okay, you probably won't cry...but you might tear up. or at least be a little disappointed on behalf of someone.]. you'll be glad these aren't your parents. or your kids. you'll remember what is was like to be the biggest dork in school and how, years later, you've managed to overcome all that, put it behind you, and now live happily as the biggest dork in your office.
i saw it in a virtually sold-out theater. which was cool on one hand, because you're thinking, "hey, good for you, little indie documentary! way to go!" not cool on the other hand because you end up surrounded by people who are so pathetic that they're actually spelling the words out loud in the theater. shut. up. i mean, yeah, forty-year-old-guy, you can spell "ecclesiastical" and "corollary." you're freakin' forty. they're twelve. maybe it's just a tad bit tougher for them. and, oh, what's that? don't hear you chiming in on "hellebore," now do i? yeah, that's what i thought, you smug bastard.
my favorite moment in the movie [and it's tough, because, honestly, there were a whole lot of them]: when the manager of the local hooters says that they wanted to show their support and get behind their local champ who was on her way to the nationals, so they put up on their marquee: "congradulations nupur!" that. is. classic.
anyway, this is a documentary. it's not getting the wide release of, say, wrong turn [don't get me started.]. but, hear me when i tell you that you should go find it. wherever it's playing. and fork out the $9.00. it's highly entertaining.
and now for something completely different...
whoever told edward norton that he should grow some little guido-lookin'-cheesy mustache for the italian job owes him a big fat apology. and some money. he doesn't look evil. he doesn't look menacing. he looks like that guy in your junior high class who's trying really hard to grow facial hair in an effort to look older and more distinguished but, instead, just looks like more of a tool than he did before he started.
the italian job has a few problems, but most aren't any more significant than norton's silly facial hair. mark wahlberg comes off as, uh...less than charismatic. as does charlize theron, although, i'm perfectly willing to consider the idea that she wasn't added to the cast simply on the merits of her acting skills. if you saw the trailer, you pretty much already know the first half-hour...and, um...the last half-hour, too [god, i hate that.].
so, given all of that, you might be surprised to hear me say: go see this movie. it's the kind of no-harm-no-foul escapist fare that i find eminently watchable. which is why i've seen ocean's eleven about, oh, fifteen times. okay, okay...the real reason i've seen ocean's eleven aobut fifteen times is because george clooney was put on this earth to show men how to wear a tuxedo now that cary grant isn't around to fill that role.
but that's neither here nor there.
both movies are fast, fun, and as substantial as cotton candy. they're perfect examples of the it's-summertime-so-don't-think-just-be-entertained-by-this-entirely-unreal-escapist-movie-filled-with-impossibilities-and-great-locations-and-the-kind-of-snappy-one-liners-you-wish-you-could-think-of kind of movie. and there are some really good things going on in the italian job that more than make up for edward norton's cheesy mustache. specifically: those snappy one-liners, a very likable supporting cast [especially the hilarious seth green, whose character steals the whole movie with his subplot that he was the "real" napster and that his college roommate stole the whole idea from him], and, most importantly, the mini coopers.
this movie made me want to run out and get a mini and throw it into the back of my suv and take it with me everywhere i go. it also made me want to drive fast. and go to italy. and steal stuff.
but, i digress.
anyway, you won't think much. but you will be entertained. and, hey, isn't that what a summer movie is supposed to do?
so, go forth. and see a movie. or two.
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