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[about the author]

i actually like speaking in front of large crowds. freakish, eh?

i work crossword puzzles in ink.

i am the american nigella lawson. or maybe the american eddie izzard. can't decide, really.

i would be a really good mom, but i'm cool with being a really good aunt.

i am sometimes more perceptive than i would like to be.

i am fiercely loyal. sometimes, stupidly so.

i never play dumb. never.

i am way too hard on myself.

i am a change agent.

i sometimes cross that fine line between assertive and aggressive.

i am not afraid to tell people that i love them.

i am militantly pro-choice.

i am pro-adoption.

i know a little bit about alot of things.

i typically enjoy the company of men more than women.

i am capable of being really mean and nasty, but i fight it. hard.

i am a lifelong cubs fan. do not laugh.

i have been known to hold a grudge.

i have hips.

i am not my sister.

i am lousy at forgiving myself.

i am an indoor kind of gal.

i am a bargain shopper. to the point of obsession.

i am 32 flavors. and then some.

 
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[all content copyright 2007 by tequila mockingbird. seriously.]


 
7.02.2003  

why you should go see 28 days later...which totally sounds like the name of some movie they made all the girls watch in 7th grade health class
let's just get this out of the way right now: this. is. not. a. zombie. movie.

despite what the trailers would have you believe, this is not some sort of mid-morning of the dead rehash. it's smarter than that. and cooler than that. and more artsy than that.

plus, the zombies in this movie are, like, turbocharged zombies. they don't do a whole lot of the ambling about and going "uhhhh....uhhhh." no. these "zombies" are superfast, and they just jump on you and rip your throat out or something. then they puke blood all over you. and other zombie-like things.

so, given that, why-for-how-come do i say it's not a zombie movie?

well, the zombie-types play a surprisingly small role in the movie. and, with a script by alex garland [he of the beach fame], you'd sort of expect a bit more than your average zombie flick. i mean, you'd expect a zombie flick with topless swimming. and drug use. and freaky cannibalistic stuff that doesn't make it into the movie at all.

um...i'm digressing. as usual.

anyway, this movie has a lot to like about it. there's some british guy who is sort of like the poor man's jude law [pmjl]. if you put him in a spray-on tanning booth. and photoshopped him using a gaussian blur filter with a setting of about 3 pixels. and stood really far away from him. and squinted. and you were drunk.

well, whatever. there was something about the kid that made me think he might possibly be the poor man's jude law. deal with it.

the first 30 minutes or so are very cool, and very creepy. basically pmjl comes out of a coma to find that some daft [it's a british film...i can say "daft" and get away with it.] animal rights activists have unleashed some really crabby monkeys carrying some sort of vague "rage" disease onto humanity. and now -- 28 days later -- pretty much everyone is toast. or a zombie. either way, it's not so good.

the scenes of pmjl roaming a deserted london are unsettling, if a bit drawn out. and, if you see it, pay really close attention...i'm almost sure i saw someone walking along the right side of the street in one of the scenes. but, you know...i'm drunk half the time anyway, so what do i know?

the film was directed by danny boyle who also brought you that feel-good classic, trainspotting. and, he makes being a zombie almost as glamorous and appealing as being a heroin junkie. the movie was shot on digital-video which gives it a very cool look and feel. it also gave them a chance to play around with some neat visual effects...actually some gaussian blur-like stuff now that i think about it.

the characters are engaging, the actors turn in some perfectly nice performances, there are a few cheap thrills, a couple of nice one-liners and your occasional zombie. what's not to like?

what 28 days later is really about isn't zombies. it's about something much scarier: human nature. it's that same sort of creepy-ass feeling that you get from reading that short story by shirley jackson -- the lottery. or during captain willard's surreal journey in apocalypse now. everyone is acting like everything is pefectly fine. but it's not perfectly fine. it's not even close to perfectly fine. people's minds get seriously warped when faced with circumstances that are a bit beyond comprehension. and, you know...blood-puking zombies are pretty much beyond comprehension. for most of us.

i will admit that i think boyle and garland totally pussed out with the ending of the movie. i could have given you a much more satisfying end with about sixty more seconds of film, and only a few more lines of dialogue. but, trust me: the test audiences wouldn't have liked it nearly as well as they must have liked the ending you're getting.

so, if i had to summarize, i'd say...28 days later: it's not just zombies! or 28 days later: the thinking man's zombie movie. or 28 days later: definitely worth a matinee ticket if you don't mind a zombie movie that doesn't have many zombies, examines the darker side of human nature and shows you the wang of the poor man's jude law!

yeah...that last one is about right.
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