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[about the author]

i actually like speaking in front of large crowds. freakish, eh?

i work crossword puzzles in ink.

i am the american nigella lawson. or maybe the american eddie izzard. can't decide, really.

i would be a really good mom, but i'm cool with being a really good aunt.

i am sometimes more perceptive than i would like to be.

i am fiercely loyal. sometimes, stupidly so.

i never play dumb. never.

i am way too hard on myself.

i am a change agent.

i sometimes cross that fine line between assertive and aggressive.

i am not afraid to tell people that i love them.

i am militantly pro-choice.

i am pro-adoption.

i know a little bit about alot of things.

i typically enjoy the company of men more than women.

i am capable of being really mean and nasty, but i fight it. hard.

i am a lifelong cubs fan. do not laugh.

i have been known to hold a grudge.

i have hips.

i am not my sister.

i am lousy at forgiving myself.

i am an indoor kind of gal.

i am a bargain shopper. to the point of obsession.

i am 32 flavors. and then some.

 
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[in case you were wondering]

[the blogger behind the curtain]

[100 things about me]




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[all content copyright 2007 by tequila mockingbird. seriously.]


 
9.22.2003  

things i learned during my hurricane mini-vacation
even with 5-d viper super doppler radar, weather forecasting type people have no idea what they’re talking about. i was promised a category five storm, people. i was promised nature’s fury. i was told to…wait a minute…5-d?! oh, just forget it. there’s no way to have an intelligent discussion with people who believe they have 5-d radar.

you’re not fooling anyone when you say that you "have" to drink all the booze in your house because it will go skunky if the power is out for days.

if you’d like to take photos of the amazing blue and green lightning, you should try and do that before the drinking part of the evening.

perhaps it’s time to reprioritize when you hear yourself saying, “but what’s the point of having electricity if the cable is out?” and also: maybe stop with the drinking, too.

if you have power at your house, it’s best to just stay at home and eat whatever you have on hand. even if it’s split pea soup. or a can of black beans. whatever canned food you pushed to the back of the pantry, just waiting for the holiday canned food drives…just eat it. because everyone in the county is over at chipotle. seriously. every. one.

it’s good to spend your time off doing educational things. like going to see that movie underworld. i now have all of the information i need to make an informed decision if faced with the question of whether i would prefer to be a werewolf or a vampire. for the record, i’d go with vampire. for the following reasons:

- vampires get to wear cool sexy goth clothes and lots of eye makeup and live in a creepy goth mansion where they stand around looking all goth and sexy, smoking cigarettes with those really cool long black cigarette holder things and holding expensive-looking goblets filled with blood. werewolves, on the other hand, have to live in damp dark tunnels under the ground, which, from the looks of things, are completely lacking any shower facilities. they also have to wear icky clothes that look sort of shabby…and have faux fur trim.

- vampires get to drive cool exotic sports cars. werewolves seem to rely primarily on mass transit and vans.

- vampires have parties that are clearly going to turn into some sort of orgy for well-dressed goth people at any second. werewolves stand around in a circle and watch two werewolf guys fight each other.

- there are no hot werewolf chicks. point of fact, there appear to be no werewolf chicks at all. none. this is a problem.

- every time you try and turn into a werewolf some bad generic speed metal music starts to play really loudly. it’s not even bad moon rising. or werewolves of london. just bad faux rammstein. i think this is a real drag, that you don’t get to pick your own werewolf music. plus it totally blows your whole incognito werewolf thing. i mean, how you can you sneak up on someone as a werewolf if they already heard your bad faux rammstein music a mile away?

anyway, i hope you all survived safe and sound.
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