[about the author]
i actually like speaking in front of large crowds. freakish,
i work crossword puzzles in ink.
i am the american nigella lawson. or maybe the american eddie
izzard. can't decide, really.
i would be a really good mom, but i'm cool with being a really
i am sometimes more perceptive than i would like to be.
i am fiercely loyal. sometimes, stupidly so.
i never play dumb. never.
i am way too hard on myself.
i am a change agent.
i sometimes cross that fine line between assertive and aggressive.
i am not afraid to tell people that i love them.
i am militantly pro-choice.
i am pro-adoption.
i know a little bit about alot of things.
i typically enjoy the company of men more than women.
i am capable of being really mean and nasty, but i fight it.
i am a lifelong cubs fan. do not laugh.
i have been known to hold a grudge.
i have hips.
i am not my sister.
i am lousy at forgiving myself.
i am an indoor kind of gal.
i am a bargain shopper. to the point of obsession.
i am 32 flavors. and then some.
and now for something completely different...
i'm in a huggy bear state of mind, so allow myself to pimp a couple of sites.
first up, it's my dear "real-life" [how much more real could my life get than what i write about here?!] friend, cw.
now, i know i've pimped him before. pimped him hard, as a matter of fact. even he will admit that he would be [and i quote] "nowhere" in the blog world without me. my love. my support. my encouragement. my links. my inspiration.
you get the picture.
and, now, i feel like a proud mama, watching her baby going off to the prom. or something.
anyway, point is, he's been nominated for best humor blog in some blog-award-competition-type thing. he's closing in fast on that loser, dave barry. and, while i don't think he can close the gap to overtake the current leader in the field, i'm mostly focusing on him beating dave barry. why? because dave barry is already famous. dave barry already gets paid to write. dave barry has a pulitzer or a nobel prize or something equally impressive that just makes his presence in this competition seem crass and greedy and gross.
oh, i see. dave barry was nominated by someone else.
well, fine. then, i shall rethink my position entirely.
[pauses to rethink]
i'm mostly focusing on him beating dave barry because dave barry has unfortunate hair and bears more than a passing resemblance to wallace shawn, and i find that creepy. plus, i thought dave barry was horrible on night court.
wasn't on night court you say?
i think if you check your facts you'll find that he played sass-talkin' bailiff "roz" from 1986 to the season's end in 1992.
anyway, go vote for cw so he can crush dave barry.
and, please make note at how magnanimous my pimping is in light of my total absence from this competition. yeah, that's me not nominated in any category. that's me not up for best female blog. that's me not nominated for best blog. that's me not nominated for best-looking blogger.
oh. best-looking blog. well, that makes more sense, then.
hell, i'm not even nominated in the "most egregious omission" category.
anyway, cw deserves your vote. he's consistently funnier than anyone i know. including dave barry.
i fear the student has eclipsed the master.
in other huggy bear activity, sour bob has returned!
the blog world stopped turning when bob took a hiatus, but he's back, and sourer than ever.
if you're new to his site, take some time and read the archives. not only is bob filled with smart laughs and lots of cusses [i do love the cusses], but he's also one of the best damn writers i've ever had the pleasure of reading. anywhere. ever.
plus, he's super cute.
plus, with just one tiny miniscule link, he doubled my daily hits.
i love a man with power.
this concludes today's pimping. we now return you to your regularly scheduled blog....
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