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[about the author]

i actually like speaking in front of large crowds. freakish, eh?

i work crossword puzzles in ink.

i am the american nigella lawson. or maybe the american eddie izzard. can't decide, really.

i would be a really good mom, but i'm cool with being a really good aunt.

i am sometimes more perceptive than i would like to be.

i am fiercely loyal. sometimes, stupidly so.

i never play dumb. never.

i am way too hard on myself.

i am a change agent.

i sometimes cross that fine line between assertive and aggressive.

i am not afraid to tell people that i love them.

i am militantly pro-choice.

i am pro-adoption.

i know a little bit about alot of things.

i typically enjoy the company of men more than women.

i am capable of being really mean and nasty, but i fight it. hard.

i am a lifelong cubs fan. do not laugh.

i have been known to hold a grudge.

i have hips.

i am not my sister.

i am lousy at forgiving myself.

i am an indoor kind of gal.

i am a bargain shopper. to the point of obsession.

i am 32 flavors. and then some.

 
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[in case you were wondering]

[the blogger behind the curtain]

[100 things about me]




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[all content copyright 2007 by tequila mockingbird. seriously.]


 
12.29.2003  

who says customer service is dead?
me, that's who.

i have all sorts of cute stories to tell you about my niece, the undisputed cutest two-year-old in the world [please. don't make me show you the pictures again.], including how i am now the recipient of a shiny green star sticker proudly displayed on my cd case.

and just how did i earn such a glittery honor, you ask. by going to the potty like a big girl, of course.

seriously. the cutest two-year-old in the world.

but, i couldn't prattle on about my adorable niece and all the christmas goings-on before i shared with you this priceless exchange that took place around, oh, 10:00 last night at reagan national.

i'm standing there, along with about 150 other irritated people, waiting for my luggage. my flight came in from philadelphia. but, all i'm seeing on the carousel monitors is charlotte. then tampa. then hartford. then nothing.

no philadelphia.

so, i wait.

and i wait.

and i wait.

nothing.

then, at a carousel waaay down at the other end, i notice some luggage just sitting there. nothing on the monitor above it. i wander down toward the carousel and, sure enough, there's my suitcase. just sitting there.

there's a guy pulling a bag off of the carousel. so, i ask him "did they put the flight number up on this monitor? i can't believe i missed it."

he doesn't even look up at me when he says, "do i look like i work here?"

and i'm thinking, "oh. well. nice. i see." i mean, i'm willing to overlook a certain amount of crankiness. i'm cranky too. i want to go home. my flight was delayed. my luggage has been sitting here for who-knows-how-long. i'm so crabby i'm actually walking sideways and my hands are involuntarily making a pinching gesture. i hear you, mr. crabby appleseed. really.

and now here comes this girl asking you some ridiculous question and all you want to do is get that suitcase off the carousel.

see, here's the problem: you're wearing an employee id badge around your neck that says "reagan national airport." and it has your picture on it. so, yeah, asshat, it actually does, in fucking fact, look like you work here.
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