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[about the author]

i actually like speaking in front of large crowds. freakish, eh?

i work crossword puzzles in ink.

i am the american nigella lawson. or maybe the american eddie izzard. can't decide, really.

i would be a really good mom, but i'm cool with being a really good aunt.

i am sometimes more perceptive than i would like to be.

i am fiercely loyal. sometimes, stupidly so.

i never play dumb. never.

i am way too hard on myself.

i am a change agent.

i sometimes cross that fine line between assertive and aggressive.

i am not afraid to tell people that i love them.

i am militantly pro-choice.

i am pro-adoption.

i know a little bit about alot of things.

i typically enjoy the company of men more than women.

i am capable of being really mean and nasty, but i fight it. hard.

i am a lifelong cubs fan. do not laugh.

i have been known to hold a grudge.

i have hips.

i am not my sister.

i am lousy at forgiving myself.

i am an indoor kind of gal.

i am a bargain shopper. to the point of obsession.

i am 32 flavors. and then some.

[the ones people ask about]
Rittenhouse Review
Investment Banking Monkey
Cheap Ticket News
iPhone News
Hotels and Travel News
Latest on Retirement Planning
Consumer News and Reviews

[in case you were wondering]

[the blogger behind the curtain]

[100 things about me]

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[all content copyright 2007 by tequila mockingbird. seriously.]


oh, it's not over 'till it's over
i received several comments and emails -- all of which were very nice and constructive -- about yesterday's post. some folks said it was too easy to see the denouement coming. it was a bit telegraphed. a tad predictable.

and, i can't argue with that.

i mean, yeah, it's easy to see now. wish it had been easy to see then.

but, see, there's something you didn't know -- couldn't possibly have known. and that is that yesterday's post was only part one.

so, now...here is part two.

the next morning, i felt horrible. i tossed and turned all night after tiptoeing around my apartment all evening. i hadn't wanted the nice family downstairs to think i was insane and loud.

i felt like i needed to apologize to jose. not only for dragging him out in the cold, but also for running away and leaving him there to explain what the hell had happened.

i tried to think of a way i could make the whole thing up to him.


not possible.


uh, no.


now, food, i can do.

so, i baked a pan of brownies, wrapped them up and headed off to the office to find jose.

i walked in to find two of the property representatives chatting in the office.

"can i help you?" the perky blonde one asked.

"well, i wanted to come in and tell you what a huge help one of the maintenance guys was to me the other night."

"well, that's always good to hear."

"i got home late, and i was freezing, and i couldn't get into my apartment, and it was just such a relief to walk into the office at 7:00 and see someone sitting there to help me!"

"huh. that's pretty unusual. i mean, the maintenance office usually closes at 6:00."

i thought back, remembering how relaxed jose had looked, chatting on his cell phone with his feet up on the desk. now i felt even worse -- he hadn't even been officially on the clock and yet he came out to help me and ended up in the middle of laverne-and-shirley-grade antics.

"well, that just means i owe jose an even bigger thanks! i baked him these brownies...is he here?"

the brunette in the red turtleneck got up from her chair.

"did you say 'jose'?" she asked.

"yes. jose was the one who helped me."

the two women exchanged glances. they looked confused.

"what? what's wrong?" i asked.

the blonde looked at me.

"i'm afraid that's not possible."

"what do you mean?"

"jose died in a horrible key-grinding accident three years ago ."

oh, you know i'm just having fun with you crazy kids.


in other news, since several of you have asked, i heard back from blogger that they are investigating my dmca claim of copyright infringement against bryan lamb and will be in touch shortly with their findings. if they don't come through, i'll figure out my next step and take it from there. thanks to everyone for your continued support!
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