<BODY><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d3769027\x26blogName\x3dtequila+mockingbird\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dTAN\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://tequilamockingbird.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://tequilamockingbird.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d779643416214293777', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

[about the author]

i actually like speaking in front of large crowds. freakish, eh?

i work crossword puzzles in ink.

i am the american nigella lawson. or maybe the american eddie izzard. can't decide, really.

i would be a really good mom, but i'm cool with being a really good aunt.

i am sometimes more perceptive than i would like to be.

i am fiercely loyal. sometimes, stupidly so.

i never play dumb. never.

i am way too hard on myself.

i am a change agent.

i sometimes cross that fine line between assertive and aggressive.

i am not afraid to tell people that i love them.

i am militantly pro-choice.

i am pro-adoption.

i know a little bit about alot of things.

i typically enjoy the company of men more than women.

i am capable of being really mean and nasty, but i fight it. hard.

i am a lifelong cubs fan. do not laugh.

i have been known to hold a grudge.

i have hips.

i am not my sister.

i am lousy at forgiving myself.

i am an indoor kind of gal.

i am a bargain shopper. to the point of obsession.

i am 32 flavors. and then some.

 
[the ones people ask about]
Rittenhouse Review
Investment Banking Monkey
OOPS
Cheap Ticket News
iPhone News
Hotels and Travel News
Latest on Retirement Planning
Consumer News and Reviews
 

[in case you were wondering]

[the blogger behind the curtain]

[100 things about me]




<< current


[all content copyright 2007 by tequila mockingbird. seriously.]


 
1.06.2004  

who’s runnin’ the show now, motherfucker?
allow me to introduce you to bryan lamb.

bryan is 25 years-old. he lives in st. louis, missouri. he went to duchesne high school where he played football and graduated in 1997. bryan is training for a triathalon. bryan’s favorite saying is “runnin’ the show.” thankfully, bryan explains what “runnin’ the show” means on his website no worries, man!:

“for those who are completely without a sense of 'coolness', "runnin' the show" in bryan-speak will mean having a good time, having fun, etc.”


no worries, man! is just one of bryan’s websites. he has three! bryan must be very busy with all those websites! i can barely manage to come up with original posts for one website, let alone three! way to go, bryan!

i know other things about bryan lamb, thanks to his “100 things about me” list on his website boy wonder lives! and he writes too!

according to bryan, this was a really tough piece of writing:

“new post on my writing website: 100 things about me....it was harder than you might think, coming up with that much stuff, so of course a bunch of random shit started jumping out of my brain towards the end.”

here are just a few highlights from bryan’s list:

i think i would be a really great dad, but right now i’m cool with being a really great uncle.(#63)
nothing pisses me off more than a closed mind...(#23)
i love riding roller coasters.(#24)
i love to make out.(#28)
i don’t look like anyone famous.(#29)
i will watch any baseball or college football game.(#30)
i love potatoes…mashed, baked, french fried, you name it.(#41)
i always know whodunit.(#42)
fall is my favorite season.(#43)
i wish i was fluent in french.(#46)
and italian.(#47)
i hate it when people tell me what to do (just ask, it’s nicer!).(#48)
s'mores? oh, hell yeah!(#50)
i am fiercely loyal. sometimes, stupidly so.(#65)
i never play dumb. ever.(#66)
i am way too hard on myself.(#67)
i sometimes cross that fine line between assertive and aggressive.(#69)
i am not afraid to tell people that i love them. (#70)
i am pro-adoption.(#72)
i know a little bit about a lot of things.(#73)
i am capable of being really mean and nasty, but i fight it, really hard.(#76)
i set high standards for myself in all areas of my life, and i often expect others to do the same...without ever telling them.(#83)
i’ve never read war and peace.(#84)
i’ve always had a feeling that i’m going to die relatively young, but i don’t let it interfere with my day-to-day life.(#91)
i worry that i'm "supposed" to be doing something great...like world-changing great. but i have no idea what it is.(#92)
i try and do the right thing. all the time. and it’s hard.(#94)

man, bryan lamb and i sure do have a lot in common! i mean, if you take a look at my 100 things about me list, i think you’ll see that bryan and i are incredibly similar! as a matter of fact, to help you see how similar we are, i put a number after each item from bryan’s list – that number is the number of that exact same item on my list! it’s amazing!

but, wait! there’s more!

i was so intrigued by bryan’s list that i started reading some of his posts. first up is this hilarious piece from no worries, man! take a look:

“yeah, so i watched the two minutes of footage of the capture of saddam hussein....he's one ugly m-f'er!

the funny thing was, at some point, some official or other made the comment that the capture of hussein was the best christmas gift he could imagine giving to the american people.

first off, i'm pretty sure that not all of the american people celebrate christmas.....way to be inclusive there, asshat! but, hey, at least you didn't say it was the best christmas gift we could have given to the iraqi people!

but, i digress.

anyway, while i'm all for ridding the world of sadistic murdering dictators, i just have to say, for the record, that i think a whole lot of us would have also been psyched about an ipod.

then again, maybe that's just me.....”


damn, that bryan is hilarious!

as i wiped the tears from my eyes, i thought, “you know, it seems like i had the very same thought myself!” and, whaddya know...turns out i sure as hell did:

for about three hours this weekend, i watched the two minutes of footage of the capture of saddam hussein.

at some point, some official or other made the comment that the capture of hussein was the best christmas gift he could imagine giving to the american people.

first up, i'm pretty sure that not all of the american people celebrate christmas. way to be inclusive there, asshat. but, hey, at least you didn't say it was the best christmas gift we could have given to the iraqi people.

but, i digress.

anyway, while i'm all for ridding the world of sadistic murdering dictators, i just have to say, for the record, that i think a whole lot of us would have also been psyched about an ipod.

then again, maybe that's just me.


yep. exactly the same thought. and not only did i have the same thought, bryan, but i actually wrote that piece and posted it on my website.

well, except that “m-f’er” part. ‘cause i’ve never ever written “m-f’er.” i much prefer motherfucker. more visceral.

but i don’t want you to get the wrong idea about bryan lamb of st. louis, missouri. he’s not just about the laughs, taking shots at saddam hussein and cracking wise about folks being asshats. no. bryan lamb has a serious side, too. you can tell from this post from boy wonder lives! see, bryan put this post on that site because that site is for bryan’s “writing.” here are a few passages from bryan’s post about hiv:

“if it comes up in conversation, i sometimes mention that an ex-girlfriend of mine from high school is hiv positive (for the sake of her privacy, i’ll call her n). more often than not, the response to the statement is “how did she get it?” i have 2 responses to this question: 1. not from me, and 2. i have no idea. besides, to my way of thinking, it doesn’t matter how she got it. when my grandpa had cancer, no one asked me how he got it. truth is, he got it from smoking. but no one asked me. plus, it didn’t fucking matter. the cancer was terminal. he was going to die from it, and that wasn’t going to be any different if he had gotten it from smoking, or from chemical exposure, or just from a lousy gene pool.


like i said, it doesn’t matter how n became hiv positive. she will die from it. and that wouldn’t be any different if she had become infected from sharing a needle or having unprotected sex or whatever. she will die from it just the same.


…according to the world health organization, aids infected and killed more people than ever in 2002? worldwide, about 40 million people are infected with hiv. of that number, about five million became infected in 2002, including approximately 700,000 children. in 2002, approximately three million people died of aids…about 500,000 of them were children younger than 15.

that’s roughly 8,000 deaths per day, which means that 5 people lose their lives to aids every minute. chances are you don't know anyone who has died from hiv/aids, but how long do you think it’ll be before you do? one every 12.5 seconds....

tick tock....”


see, bryan lamb talks about important issues. just like i do. just like i did. on world aids day. in this post:

“if it comes up in conversation, i sometimes mention that my cousin is hiv positive.

more often than not, the response to the statement is “how did he get it?”

he is actually a she.

and, to my way of thinking, it doesn’t matter how she got it.

when my grandmother had cancer, no one asked me how she got it. truth is, she got it from smoking. but no one asked me.

it didn’t matter. the cancer was terminal. she was going to die from it. and that wasn’t going to be any different if she had gotten it from smoking, or from chemical exposure, or just from a lousy gene pool.


but it doesn’t matter how my cousin became hiv positive. she will die from it. and that wouldn’t be any different if she had become infected from sharing a needle or having unprotected sex. she will die from it just the same.


but, according to the world health organization, aids infected and killed more people than ever in 2002. worldwide, about 40 million people are infected with hiv. of that number, about five million became infected in 2002, including approximately 700,000 children.

in 2002, approximately three million people died of aids…about 500,000 of them were children younger than 15.

that’s roughly 8,000 deaths a day.

five people lose their lives to aids every minute.

tick tock.


powerful stuff, bry. powerful, indeed.

so, as you can see, bryan has been keeping himself pretty busy "writing." and, by "writing," i mean copying and pasting. plagiarizing. stealing my writing and passing it off as his own. infringing on the copyright clearly displayed on every page of this website.

i mean, i’m willing to concede that there are bound to be some coincidences in this world. like bryan’s post titled “it's funny, the things we remember....” you know, the one that uses the sentence “it’s funny, the things you remember” throughout. we’ll just call that one “inspired by” my piece titled “the things you remember.” will that work for you, big bry?

but, come on. let's just call a spade a thief here: bryan isn’t just inspired by my writing. he’s stealing it. and not only has bryan been stealing my work and making some pretty lousy edits to it and then going on at length about how hard it was for him to "write," but he’s been ignoring the fact that he is stone. cold. busted.

see, i sent bryan an email on sunday. i decided to give bryan the benefit of the doubt. i thought maybe he’d never heard of copyright. or plagiarism. or lying.

so, i wrote bryan an email stating, in part:

i noticed several entries which bear more than a passing resemblance to several entries on my own site, tequila mockingbird [http://tequilamockingbird.blogspot.com].


it seems, based on the dates on your pages, that you are relatively new to the blogging community. therefore, i am writing you this email in a constructive spirit. please be aware of the following:

-all content on my site is copyrighted, which is clearly stated every page of the site.

- bloggers adhere to a strict code of copyright respect. for more information, please read the widely used blogger's disclaimer at read me (http://midge.bloggage.com/readme/).

- for information on copyright in general, i refer you the helpful and informative website, what is copyright? (www.whatiscopyright.org) there you will find information on all aspects of copyright, including paraphrasing another author's work or making minor edits to the original material without the author’s permission.

…my work is copyrighted, and has been so since the inception of my blog over one year ago.

as such, i ask that you remove the posts that were plagiarized from my site immediately. i am flattered that you enjoy my writing, but i must protect that work which is mine.

thanks in advance for your cooperation, and please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions regarding this matter.

best regards,

julia


i thought that was more than fair.

at first, i thought bryan must be dead, because not only did he not immediately remove the plagiarized pieces, he didn’t even respond to my email. not a word. not a sound. not a peep.

then, i saw that bryan posted on his websites today. so, clearly, bryan is not dead.

now, you might be wondering just how i came to find out about bryan’s “writing.” you might be thinking, “man, she couldn’t sink any lower. she must sit in front of her computer googling passages from her own writing. what a narcissist. that’s pathetic.”

and, although i am something of a pathetic narcissist, that’s not how i came to find out about bryan’s cut and paste extravaganza. nope. pay close attention, because this is my favorite part. the most unbelievable part in an already unbelievable story. ready? here goes:

see that link on the left over there? the one at the bottom of my list of links to other blogs? the one that says “add your site to list”?

bryan lamb clicked that link and submitted his site – the one containing the writing he stole from my site – to be included on my list of links.

that’s right. not only is bryan a thief, he’s clearly a rocket scientist as well.

part of me thought i should just let this go. he’s only getting, like, four readers a day. let him go on lying to those four people. let bryan go on perpetrating this fraud. let bryan go on living in his pretend world where he “writes” things. let bryan go on saying that he’s "writing" those words when, really, i am.

and, for a minute, i was so lost in thought, wondering what color the sky is in bryan’s world, that i forgot.

i forgot to be motherfucking pissed that bryan lamb is stealing my work. my ideas. my words. my life.

so, i’ve decided that it's not really okay for bryan lamb to continue stealing my work. it’s really not okay one motherfucking bit.

and so, bryan, in case you’re reading this, trolling for more of my writing to steal and mangle and claim to have written yourself, please know the following:

i spoke with my attorney today, and, later this week, he will be drafting a letter to be sent to your email address – which i do believe is fallenhero444@yahoo.com. said letter will probably be sort of long and filled with legalese, and, since i know you’re too busy copying and pasting to read and/or reply to emails, i’ll just sum up for you in two simple words:

cease.

desist.

and, bryan, just so you know: i am not kidding one. motherfucking. bit.
| [tell me about it] | [link to this entry]