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[about the author]

i actually like speaking in front of large crowds. freakish, eh?

i work crossword puzzles in ink.

i am the american nigella lawson. or maybe the american eddie izzard. can't decide, really.

i would be a really good mom, but i'm cool with being a really good aunt.

i am sometimes more perceptive than i would like to be.

i am fiercely loyal. sometimes, stupidly so.

i never play dumb. never.

i am way too hard on myself.

i am a change agent.

i sometimes cross that fine line between assertive and aggressive.

i am not afraid to tell people that i love them.

i am militantly pro-choice.

i am pro-adoption.

i know a little bit about alot of things.

i typically enjoy the company of men more than women.

i am capable of being really mean and nasty, but i fight it. hard.

i am a lifelong cubs fan. do not laugh.

i have been known to hold a grudge.

i have hips.

i am not my sister.

i am lousy at forgiving myself.

i am an indoor kind of gal.

i am a bargain shopper. to the point of obsession.

i am 32 flavors. and then some.

 
[the ones people ask about]
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Investment Banking Monkey
OOPS
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iPhone News
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Latest on Retirement Planning
Consumer News and Reviews
 

[in case you were wondering]

[the blogger behind the curtain]

[100 things about me]




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[all content copyright 2007 by tequila mockingbird. seriously.]


 
2.02.2004  

things i learned this weekend
so i'm sitting at california pizza kitchen on friday with my girlfriend, and we're right beside the front window and all of a sudden, i see george stephanopoulos walking down the street, talking on his cell phone, wearing his cute little navy blue parka. despite the fact that i just shoveled a bite of thai chicken pizza into my piehole, i reach across the table and start shoving my girlfriend, pointing and saying [with my mouth full of thai chicken pizza] "hey, look, it's george stephanopoulos! it's george stephanopoulos!"

from this, i learned two things:

1. my cell phone is way cooler than george stephanopoulos' cell phone. this surprised me very much.

2. windows at california pizza kitchen are not constructed using high-tech one-way technology. this was confirmed by the fact that george stephanopoulos looked at me and gave me a nervous "uh-oh-it's-another-crazy-political-science-groupie" smile. and, although i wasn't clocking him, it seemed that he picked up the pace of his gait.

***


my group of friends held our first poker night over the weekend. we had too many people for just one game, so we ended up with two tables. i was sent to the "girls'" table. toward the end of the night, the two girls remaining were invited to join the "men's" table. you could see the look of glee on their faces as we plopped down with our stacks of chips.

from this, i learned two things:

1. my straight flush will always beat your four kings. no matter how many times you reraise me with a smug look on your face and no matter how much eye-rolling and head-shaking you boys do, acting like i have no idea what i'm doing.

2. i like winning.

***


while listening to a story on npr about mad cow disease and its effects on the beef industry, i almost drove off the road and right into a ditch. and what caused me such distraction? the mention in the story that the fda has now passed a rule stating that farmers can no longer give the blood of slaughtered cows to calves as a milk substitute.

holy shit.

from this, i learned two things:

1. the reason cows are going "mad" is because we keep feeding them to each other. come on! people go mad if you drip water on their head for a long time. or if you leave them in a room alone for a long time. or if you make them listen to air supply albums. people who eat other people are, typically, considered insane. or at least not marriage material. like jeffrey dahmer. ate other people. defintely a nut. so, yeah...feeding cows to other cows. not a good idea.

2. i love npr but they don't always have to tell me everything.

***


a 40ish english guy apparently disguised himself as a referee and sneaked onto the field at the super bowl. he then proceeded to strip down and do a naked rendition of riverdance before being tackled by linebacker matt chatham, and arrested by the houston police.

from this i learned two things:

1. apparently, no one really likes riverdance. even naked riverdance.

2. matt chatham was obviously in the locker room during the half-time show. and, for that matter, maybe the houston police were, too.
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