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[about the author]

i actually like speaking in front of large crowds. freakish, eh?

i work crossword puzzles in ink.

i am the american nigella lawson. or maybe the american eddie izzard. can't decide, really.

i would be a really good mom, but i'm cool with being a really good aunt.

i am sometimes more perceptive than i would like to be.

i am fiercely loyal. sometimes, stupidly so.

i never play dumb. never.

i am way too hard on myself.

i am a change agent.

i sometimes cross that fine line between assertive and aggressive.

i am not afraid to tell people that i love them.

i am militantly pro-choice.

i am pro-adoption.

i know a little bit about alot of things.

i typically enjoy the company of men more than women.

i am capable of being really mean and nasty, but i fight it. hard.

i am a lifelong cubs fan. do not laugh.

i have been known to hold a grudge.

i have hips.

i am not my sister.

i am lousy at forgiving myself.

i am an indoor kind of gal.

i am a bargain shopper. to the point of obsession.

i am 32 flavors. and then some.

 
[the ones people ask about]
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[in case you were wondering]

[the blogger behind the curtain]

[100 things about me]




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[all content copyright 2007 by tequila mockingbird. seriously.]


 
8.16.2004  

"without you here there is less to say"
there are many things in this world that suck.

among these completely suckfull things is spending an entire evening hoping the phone will ring and then, when it does, it's not the person you had hoped it would be.

in this way, caller id is both a blessing and a curse.

as a blessing, caller id allows you wait a few rings before answering the phone so as not to appear too eager. it also allows you to affect a breezy tone, as if to say "oh. huh. it is you. quelle surprise. while it is nice that you have phoned, i certainly don't want to give you the impression i have been hoping that you would call. because, really, that would be rather desperate and sad. and if there are two things i am not, desperate and sad would be...um...some of them."

caller id also destroys all glimmers of hope. immediately. it is the opposite of instant gratification. plus, you sound like an asshole when you answer the phone because it's obvious you're disappointed. these are ways in which it is a curse.

and, god help you if you have some sort of super-fancy phone that lets you assign specific ringtones to individuals. then your disappointment can set in from a distance. you don't even have to get up off of the couch to get disappointed.

god bless technology.

of course, the other part that sucks is the part where you're so damn stubborn that you won't just pick up the phone and call him yourself.

but, for purposes of today's exercise, we'll just focus on section a.
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