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[about the author]

i actually like speaking in front of large crowds. freakish, eh?

i work crossword puzzles in ink.

i am the american nigella lawson. or maybe the american eddie izzard. can't decide, really.

i would be a really good mom, but i'm cool with being a really good aunt.

i am sometimes more perceptive than i would like to be.

i am fiercely loyal. sometimes, stupidly so.

i never play dumb. never.

i am way too hard on myself.

i am a change agent.

i sometimes cross that fine line between assertive and aggressive.

i am not afraid to tell people that i love them.

i am militantly pro-choice.

i am pro-adoption.

i know a little bit about alot of things.

i typically enjoy the company of men more than women.

i am capable of being really mean and nasty, but i fight it. hard.

i am a lifelong cubs fan. do not laugh.

i have been known to hold a grudge.

i have hips.

i am not my sister.

i am lousy at forgiving myself.

i am an indoor kind of gal.

i am a bargain shopper. to the point of obsession.

i am 32 flavors. and then some.

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[in case you were wondering]

[the blogger behind the curtain]

[100 things about me]

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[all content copyright 2007 by tequila mockingbird. seriously.]


a night to remember
okay, so i keep trying to find time to write this post about prom and how, for my junior prom, i fought against chris kennedy, the best-looking guy in the whole school, so that our theme wouldn't be almost paradise which, as i’m sure you know, is the love theme from footloose because, really, who wants their prom theme to be a song sung by the guy from loverboy and one of the chicks from heart?! and how, instead, it was springtime in paris, and how we worked so hard to transform our gymnasium into this magical and beautiful scene, complete with an eiffel tower, and a parisian sidewalk café, so you would never in a million years imagine that you were in a gymnasium. and how there was this beautiful dress in seventeen magazine that i loved and how i tore out that page and saved my money so i could buy fabric and planned to ask my grandmother to sew one like it because i would never be able to save enough money to buy it, plus i didn't think there was a store anywhere near us that would actually sell it. and how that dress was the perfect audrey hepburn dress and i thought i had never seen anything so beautiful in my life. and how my mom took me to stone & thomas and we walked in and there it was, and when i tried it on it fit perfectly and we stood in the dressing room and cried under the flourescent lights and she bought it for me right there on the spot. and then how one of the senior girls tried to tell me that i couldn't wear the dress because she bought it and it was her senior prom and she wasn't going to let me ruin her senior prom by showing up in the same dress, but i stood my ground, even after she actually threatened to beat me up. and how my grandmother gave me the most perfectly classy, sparkly earrings like audrey wore in breakfast at tiffany’s and how amazing they looked with my simple upswept hair that anne dodd had given me. and how i still have the elbow-length black gloves i wore, tucked into a box in the back of a drawer. and how i didn't have a boyfriend and ended up going to prom with the only openly gay guy in my entire high school, but, really, he appreciated the whole audrey hepburn evocation much more than any of the straight guys would have, so that was all for the best. and how that stupid whore of a senior girl wore her dress with black lace cut-off-finger madonna gloves, a black choker and black beaded dangly earrings so, really, we didn’t look like we were wearing the same dress at all. and how magical that gymnasium looked, and the way it glowed, and the way i felt beautiful and glamorous for the first time in my life.

then i thought that had whole story had real flashes of pretty in pink, so i thought i’d try, instead, to write about my senior prom and how i couldn’t find a dress i liked at all, and i didn’t have a boyfriend anyway, so i swore i wouldn’t go and how i finally decided to go at the last minute because one of my good friends really wanted to go and he needed a date because he couldn’t take his girlfriend because she was a sophomore and our school had a really traditional junior-senior prom so no sophomores were allowed. and how i played in the state all-star softball game that afternoon and got beaned in the forehead with a ball late in the sixth inning – but made the play anyway – and it left a huge black and blue and red knot which was only made worse by the fact that the only dress i could find to borrow with such late notice was red. and how, when my friend showed up early he thought a good way to kill some time would be to drive through mcdonald’s and get some fries and a milkshake, which seems now like a funny thing to do but, then just made me feel like a moron with a big giant knot on her forehead. and how that was the first year that my school had prom at a country club instead of a transformed gymnasium, and it somehow didn’t seem special or magical at all. and how the class that year took the money they saved by not decorating the gym and gave us these cheesy miniature brandy snifters with “stairway to heaven” on them in blue script writing and how i left mine on the table, because, really, what was i supposed to do with a miniature brandy snifter? and then how, after the prom, my friend went by his girlfriend’s house to pick her up so she could come with us to the party, which, you know, is a bit awkward when you’re in a house full of people who came as couples and you came as a third wheel with a giant knot on your forehead. and how that was the first night i realized that being thought of as just one of the guys can be great sometimes, but really tremendously lousy at other times.

but i just can’t seem to find the time....
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