[about the author]
i actually like speaking in front of large crowds. freakish,
i work crossword puzzles in ink.
i am the american nigella lawson. or maybe the american eddie
izzard. can't decide, really.
i would be a really good mom, but i'm cool with being a really
i am sometimes more perceptive than i would like to be.
i am fiercely loyal. sometimes, stupidly so.
i never play dumb. never.
i am way too hard on myself.
i am a change agent.
i sometimes cross that fine line between assertive and aggressive.
i am not afraid to tell people that i love them.
i am militantly pro-choice.
i am pro-adoption.
i know a little bit about alot of things.
i typically enjoy the company of men more than women.
i am capable of being really mean and nasty, but i fight it.
i am a lifelong cubs fan. do not laugh.
i have been known to hold a grudge.
i have hips.
i am not my sister.
i am lousy at forgiving myself.
i am an indoor kind of gal.
i am a bargain shopper. to the point of obsession.
i am 32 flavors. and then some.
it's like that bread song says: "if a picture paints a thousand words, then why can't i paint...that guy"
recently, i've gotten back into the lapsed habit of taking photos all the time. for a while, i had that whole self-conscious thing, where i would see something that caught my eye -- maybe a person, maybe a puddle, maybe just a bright green door -- and i would feel self-conscious about stopping to snap a photo.
then i thought about all the neat photos i was missing, and how i really wished i had taken a lot of those pictures, and i got over myself.
so, here's just a sampling of a few photos i've taken recently. of guys.
clearly, my subconscious is trying to tell me something.
so, in an effort to try and ease myself back into traveling, i went to new orleans a couple of weeks ago. while i was there, i met...this guy. he plays a mean guitar, and, clearly, he is a bad ass. he totally got into posing for me, and i was able to snap several shots of him, but, for some reason, i really liked this one. whenever i meet someone like...this guy...i always wonder what his average daily take is. like, are you making ten bucks a day? fifty? two hundred?
which takes me to this guy:
this, apparently, is naked cowboy. i snapped this shot of him -- and a friend -- as he was, um..."working" in the middle of times square while i was in new york on business this week.
i am fascinated by naked cowboy.
especially by the fact that, um...he's not actually naked.
anyway, i was so fascinated that i was very tempted to try and engage him in conversation. sadly, that creepy old dude would not move away from naked cowboy. naked cowboy must be something of a celebrity, and a times square regular, because the souvenir shops around times square are selling knock-offs of the naked cowboy tighty whiteys. but let's be honest: it's the handwritten scrawl across the ass that makes naked cowboy's underwears so special, and no latex iron-on transfer rip-off is quite the same.
rock on, naked cowboy. rock on.
last, but ohmygod not least, would be this guy:
uh-huh, that's right, it's ron "the sexiest eyebrows alive" livingston. you know...that guy...the one from office space. and swingers. and band of brothers. and, um...body shots. or you might know him from his portrayal of berger -- the guy who broke up with carrie via post-it note on sex and the city.
i just know him as "my boyfriend ron livingston."
last week, i was walking past the johnston & murphy store near my office and there's this sign saying ron livingston will making an appearance at the store. and i stopped dead in my tracks, pulled out my trusty treo 650, and put it on my calendar as a high priority appointment.
there were drinks, and snacks and, i don't know if i mentioned this or not, but also: my boyfriend ron livingston was there.
he signed my office space dvd, let me take several pictures, and actually hung out and chatted for about about fifteen minutes or so. he actually said things like, "is everyone in dc from somewhere else? it seems a lot like la in that regard."
of course, that's when i screeched, "ohmygod, you're so normal! i love you!" and started making out with his eyebrows.
then, his handler came over and said, "mr. livingston? there are some people over here who would like to meet you."
and then i killed his handler.
anyway, for those of you who were wondering: he's actually even hotter in person, he's incredibly nice, and looks great in a suit.
and he's mine. all mine.
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